How to choose a psychologist safely

Safety is a basic human need, and it matters especially in psychological work. Sessions should give you room to speak openly, without having to justify your identity or fear judgement.

Pressure on LGBTQ+ people in Russia and restrictions on speaking openly about themselves make safety especially important. Choosing a psychologist therefore means considering confidentiality, respect for your experience and your own comfort, as well as the approach to therapy.

Where to look

LGBTQ+ projects and community recommendations can be a starting point. Experience with LGBTQ+ clients can help a professional understand discrimination, coming out, relationships and relocation. However, belonging to the community or describing a service as “friendly” does not in itself guarantee competence or safety.

Projects that can be a starting point for your search include Coming Out, Parni+ and Sphere, as well as Kovcheg (The Ark) for people who have left or are planning to leave Russia. The availability of specific support programmes may change. Check current contact details and eligibility through each project’s official channels.

General directories, such as b17, can also be a starting point. The absence of an LGBTQ+ friendly label does not give you a definite answer about a professional’s attitude. Ask direct questions before booking.

Protect your personal information and boundaries

Avoid posting a sensitive request for an LGBTQ+ friendly psychologist in public comments or from a personal profile that readily identifies you. At first contact, share only what is needed to discuss support.

Avoid VKontakte for personal conversations. Agree on a communication channel you are comfortable with, check privacy settings and ask who can access messages and session records.

You can decline to share a personal profile or accept a friend request. A request alone does not establish stalking, but persistence after a refusal or attempts to intrude into your private life are reasons to end contact. Psychological work requires professional boundaries.

What to ask before the first session

You can ask directly: “Do you regard homosexuality, bisexuality and being transgender as normal variations of human experience? Have you worked with LGBTQ+ clients?” Look for a clear answer, not an offer to “fix” your orientation or identity.

A professional may not know every detail of your experience. Respectful questions, a willingness to listen and acknowledgement of the limits of their knowledge are good signs. Debating your right to be yourself, dismissing your experience or imposing beliefs does not create a safe space.

• What are your qualifications and experience with concerns like mine?
• What approach do you use, and why would you suggest it for my situation?
• How does confidentiality work, and what are its limits? Do you keep records, and where?
• How long is a session, what does it cost, and how do rescheduling and cancellation work?
• How will we agree on goals and discuss progress?

Questions about training, methods, goals and confidentiality are also recommended by the US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Qualifications and professional training

Look into the professional’s education, qualifications and additional training in their chosen approach. Check the institutions and programmes listed. A short course alone is not a substitute for substantial professional training.

Ask them to explain the basis of their work and how they maintain their skills, seek professional consultation or receive supervision — confidential discussion of their work with a more experienced colleague.

Tarot-based diagnosis and esoteric explanations are not substitutes for professional psychological assessment. A practitioner’s personal religious beliefs do not in themselves determine the quality of care, but imposing those beliefs or using them to replace the work you agreed on is a reason to decline.

The first meeting: notice how you feel

Ask whether an introductory meeting is available, how long it lasts and whether there is a fee. It will not show you everything about an approach, but can give you an initial sense of the relationship.

Explain how you would like to be addressed, including your name and pronouns. Identify topics you are not ready to discuss. Notice whether you can ask questions, disagree and say no.

If something does not suit you, you can discuss it in a session: the pace, exercises, communication style or approach itself. You can change professionals or end the work. You do not have to continue sessions where your boundaries are repeatedly ignored.

Approaches to therapy

Here is a brief introduction to several approaches to psychotherapy. A label cannot tell you in advance what the outcome will be or how comfortable you will feel. Discuss the choice in relation to your concerns, the professional’s training and the evidence for using a method in your situation.

Gestalt therapy

Focuses on present experience, emotions, needs and contact with other people. By becoming more aware of their experience, a person explores habitual ways of responding. Ask the practitioner how their sessions are organised.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

Helps people notice links between thoughts, feelings and behaviour and try more helpful responses. It often involves agreed goals and exercises between sessions. You do not need to be “disciplined enough” to deserve support: workload and difficulties can be discussed.

Psychoanalysis

Explores unconscious experience, internal conflicts and the influence of the past on the present. The work can be long term. Age alone does not determine whether this approach will suit someone.

Body-oriented psychotherapy

Explores bodily sensations and their connection with emotions. The label can cover different practices, so ask about specific methods and training. Exercises, and especially touch, require your consent; you can decline.

Systemic family therapy

Considers difficulties in the context of relationships and recurring patterns of interaction. Couples, families or individuals may seek it — the whole family does not have to attend. Work may address conflict, loss, relocation and other changes.

If you are in polyamorous relationships, ask beforehand whether the practitioner has relevant experience and can work without judgement or pressure to adopt a different relationship structure.

For more on approaches, see the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) overview. For CBT and choosing support, see NIMH’s guide to psychotherapy.

A checklist before booking

• Check the professional’s qualifications and experience.
• Discuss their attitude towards LGBTQ+ people and aspects of life that matter to you.
• Agree on communication, confidentiality, fees and cancellations.
• Ask about the method, goals and how you will review the work.
• Remember that you can ask questions, decline and change professionals.

You do not have to prove that you deserve respect. Care and clear agreements matter from the start.